So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
