went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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