Dual....:-)
My pussy is not your playground.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
