The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
