but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
