i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
