it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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