There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
