the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
