No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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