i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
