ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I got inside last night via doggy door
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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