So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
