I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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