I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
