You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
