billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
