super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
