I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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