when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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