Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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