I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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