Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
