i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
