apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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