you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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