yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
