ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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