He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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