Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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