I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
