Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Randomize
