Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
