He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
