Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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