So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
