i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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