i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
