How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
