Yo dont text me then not text me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
