I want to stick my p in your. b.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
