He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize