Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
