He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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