What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
