Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Moan for me like Helen Keller
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
