Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
