She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
