I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
