I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize