just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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