I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
