You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
