last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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