I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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