Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
