Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
