im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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