I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We don't watch enough power rangers
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
