literally had 100 drinks last night.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
