I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
