Pappa wants mamma naked
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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