FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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