Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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